“Oh, you better watch out…” On his trek around the globe tonight, Santa will consume 31,457 gallons of milk, 7832 lbs. of butter and 12,930 eggs- thereby contributing to the suffering and death of thousands of dairy cows and chickens. Speaking of animals, this sadistic bastard will also slavishly drive his genetically modified reindeer to the brink of death to deliver sweat shop manufactured toys to the spoiled masses. This poster child for glutinous consumerism must be stopped before it’s too late!
Merry Christmas everyone!
***Disclaimer*** The statistics cited are purely imaginary- the truth is probably much worse!