Okay, I’ll admit it. I had my first major hurdle to overcome since I started the blog- used the holidays as an excuse to take a day off and a day turned into two and so on.  For the past few days, I’ve been wrestling with another vegan world issue that reminds me again of my Christian days and why I started this endeavor.

To see or not to see War Horse- that’s my dilemma. My first reaction after seeing the trailer was hell no!… here we go again. Another movie that abuses animals and all this in the wake of the New York carriage horse collapses, and… You get the point. The vegan/animal rights community I’ve gravitated to since converting about a year ago tells me not to see this movie because real live horses were used in the production and the use of animals for this any purpose that serves the selfish needs of mankind is wrong. And if I see the movie, I’m in a sense casting my financial vote for the perpetuation of animal use/abuse in the film industry.

I get that line of reasoning, but I also have to confess that there’s a part of me that rebels against the one size fits all mentality that quite frankly can be a little constraining to me at times. Especially since I’m still in the process of figuring out where I fit into all of this. Back in the day, I used to listen to this Christian family-friendly movie review guy’s radio show. He had the enviable task of seeing every movie out there with notepad in hand- counting swear words, drug and alcohol references, nude scenes, and any other non-christian elements that struck a dissonant chord with a prim and proper world view.

So I’m listening to a podcast the other day that reminded me of the family values douche bag. This guy reviewing War Horse had somehow obtained a free ticket to a premiere and thus could attend guilt free. He went on to essentially promote the film to the vegan community with the caveat that one should only see the film if like him they could attend for free because the positive animal rights messages don’t outweigh the negative impact your ten bucks is going to make. Really? Is Steven Spielberg seriously going to base his next film making decision on whether or not a few thousand vegan animal rights activist see this movie? Is my money going to perpetuate animal cruelty in the film industry? In principle, yes. In reality, no. A presidential vote cast in a fixed system has more weight I think.

I for one am willing to sacrifice my vegan purity to see a film that I know will move me (like the non-vegan masses) to give more of a shit about the treatment of animals past, present, and future.

“Oh, you better watch out…”  On his trek around the globe tonight, Santa will consume 31,457 gallons of milk, 7832 lbs. of butter and 12,930 eggs- thereby contributing to the suffering and death of thousands of dairy cows and chickens. Speaking of animals, this sadistic bastard will also slavishly drive his genetically modified reindeer to the brink of death to deliver sweat shop manufactured toys to the spoiled masses. This poster child for glutinous consumerism must be stopped before it’s too late!

Merry Christmas everyone!

***Disclaimer***  The statistics cited are purely imaginary- the truth is probably much worse!

I’m reading Derrick Jensen’s book, Endgame: The Problem of Civilization, and came across this quote from a Canadian Department of Fisheries guy that I thought was telling of our modern attitude towards animals past and present. He’s commenting on the extinct Great Auk:

“No matter how many there may have been, the Great Auk had to go. They must have consumed thousands of tons of marine life that commercial fish stocks depend on. There wasn’t room for them in any properly managed fishery. Personally, I think we ought to be grateful to the old timers for handling this problem for us.”

The story of this fascinating animal is worth the read. (click the pic above for historical background if you so desire) For time’s sake, I’m skipping ahead to the tragic ending. By 1830, these birds were reduced to one last tiny colony on an isolated volcanic rock off the coast of Iceland. Following an eruption, the island sank forcing the birds to relocate to the nearby island of Eldey which was accessible to their greatest enemy. You guessed it- humans. Greedy museum reps swooped in to grab the last of these soon to be extinct specimens, and the sole surviving breeding pair was strangled to death in 1844. Their egg was carelessly smashed by a collectors boot, which must have been heartbreaking to them because of it’s incredible value on the open market.

This is but one of hundreds- no thousands of similar horrific tales of short sighted arrogance and stupidity that highlights our great awkwardness as a species. We somehow have the unique ability to forget our place and to see so called “lesser” creatures as our property and their value as such is for us alone to determine. If they have the audacity to compete for our resources or territory, we determine that we no longer have the need for them and push them to the brink of extinction. If they have the misfortune of tasting good, then we alter their genetics and reduce them to products to consume on an industrialized scale. If they have the greater misfortune of enjoying our company, we creatively breed them to every bizarre extreme imaginable and show them in disgusting competitions.

I even question our motives in trying to stem the tide of disappearing species.  Take the bald eagle for example. We had a few that called our Indiana farm home and they were thrilling to observe soaring through the sky or sitting majestically on a fence post. On a drive up to Seattle a few years back, we had the mystical experience of crossing paths with a massive eagle as we drove onto the Lake Shasta bridge. Of course, I’ve seen all the nature shows and such. My point… is there one… yes, there must be.

My point is that if I’m really honest with myself, I don’t want to see these birds decline to the point of extinction because my world is a better place with them in it. They are in a very real sense my emotional property in that sharing a moment with them in nature makes me feel good in a mystical, spiritual sort of way. Watching them soar, I feel connected and complete. I would miss that if they were gone.

So, am I any better than the Canadian fish guy who thinks it’s a good thing the Great Auk is no longer around competing for his resources. Not so much, I’m afraid. My motives are still as selfish. I love to observe animals in their native environments because it makes me happy. I want to protect them because my life would be less complete without them. Does that make me a bad person or is this just a natural joy inducing primal response that comes from recognizing an interconnectedness that is so lacking in our modern context? In other words do I need to feel bad about this sort of selfishness? Many voices in the animal rights camp tell me I most surely do.

They say I should want to be able to respect and appreciate other animals’ rights as fellow sentient beings sharing the planet with me- creatures who have a right to be that’s completely removed from the human sphere of influence. I should want to rid myself of the need to assign value and rank to these animals, but I’m not sure I have it in me.

When I compare rats to chipmunks, knowing full well they’re both rodents, I instinctually assign more value to the chipmunks because of the cuteness factor. Being cute makes them my property in a sense because I feel the need to elevate them and to protect them from the ugly. Rats on the other hand… we have a few living under our deck in the back yard and it’s everything I can do not to poison them. But not killing them is progress I guess, right?

Saw this post yesterday on Twitter and am really perplexed. Check out the background story/video if you’re interested (click the picture link). If not, here’s the short version. Pig farmers in Europe are required to entertain the intelligent food animals on death row awaiting slaughter. Some folks in the Netherlands teamed up to develop an iPad app that pits humans against pigs in an interactive real-time game.

My gut instinct was, “Oh, come on… this just feels sick and wrong on multiple levels.” But after sleeping on it giving it some more thought, I’m not sure this is such a bad thing. Here’s some big-brained commentary on the matter that I ripped off the developers’ site:

“…technological design can lead to new reflection, on the importance and the meaning of central concepts such as naturalness or intelligence, but also in more direct and embodied ways, in forging new types of human animal encounters and relations.” – Clemens Driessen

“Humans and pigs have a reputation for being intelligent. Despite this, however, neither humans nor pigs seem to be able exert their cognitive abilities in the best possible ways in their modern environments… To allow for a more interesting development of (human and animal) behaviour, and to learn more about some of the processes involved, a team of designers and researchers joined together to design a game challenging the cognitive abilities of both pigs and humans.” -Marc Bracke

This game marks an exciting venture into inter-species relations. On the plus side, I can see how a person unacquainted with this remarkably intelligent animal may gain some respect and maybe think twice about the next bite of sweet and sour pork or bacon they stuff into their mouth. And imagine the future possibilities… Tic-Tac-Toe with chickens, virtual sheep herding over a fence to lull you to sleep… Soon, humanity will come to realize that animals have an inherent worth that far outweighs their caloric content- entertainment value.

So all you circus and rodeo protesters out there need to get a clue and cease and desist undermining the only hope these poor creatures have to make it in this world. Hey here’s an idea. Imagine if you can a huge arena where hungry animals are pitted against death row inmates and… oh wait, didn’t the Romans do something like that a while back?

We’re sitting around the kitchen eating breakfast and listening to a Gary Francione podcast and started spinning ridiculous scenarios. The lone cow on a deserted grass island was the silliest.

Imagine you’re stranded on a pristine grass-covered island with plenty of fresh water. It’s been a couple weeks without a meal and you’re getting weaker by the day. Attempts to catch fish have been a complete failure and foraging was a total waste of calories. You’ve resigned yourself to the harsh reality that you’re going to starve to death and have some hard vegan choices to make?

Option 1) You eat the cow… You mourn the loss of your only companion and thank the gods for your good fortune of landing on Cow Island. Your belly is full for the first time in weeks, and you dry the bones and hide to make clothing and a simple shelter. And you use the dried salt accumulated on the beach rocks to preserve the meat.

After a month or so (you really don’t know because you’ve lost track of time), your food supply runs out, and quite frankly you’d rather starve than eat another bite of salt cow. You’re lonely as hell and don’t see the point of going on. You’re left with the unpleasant choice- a slow agonizing death from starvation, or drowning yourself in the ocean and possibly making a nice meal for a shark.

Option 2) You let the cow live… During your brief stay on Cow Island, you’ve had countless hours to observe your sole companion who seems to be perfectly adapted to life here. While she is thrilled to have your company, she’s not dependent on it. Little birds land on her back as she lazily grazes on miles of lush grass. Yes, you know how good she’d taste, and it just so happens you brought along your butcher’s knife and a bic lighter. But before you go insane with hunger, you make one last rational decision. You come to the conclusion that the cow can live out her days happily on the island with or without you. You on the other hand lack the ability to digest grass and will absolutely die of starvation whether or not you eat the cow. So you say goodbye to your bovine buddy and take that long swim into the sunset.

How does this apply to the real world? I’ll leave that to you to work out. I’m not quite willing to hit the water just yet, but sometimes I wonder if the animals we share the planet with would be better off without us… Of course they would, but that’s nature’s call to make I guess.

Since going vegan, I’ve been confused about the use of animal names when describing non-animal foods. For instance, I enjoy eating these spicy “chicken” patty things that are totally close to the real deal even though I can’t say for certain if there was much chicken in the original version?

But how do I tell my vegan friend about my incredible discovery? I can take the political correct vegan path and say,  ”Oh man, you gotta try these things. They’re golden brown, highly processed breaded bean protein hockey pucks that fit perfectly into a soy patty bun.” My real life response usually goes something like, “Oh man, you gotta try these spicy chicken patties… well not chicken… you know the fake chicken stuff… well not fake really because soy beans are real food… you know what I mean right?”

I’ve just recently (in the past 5 minutes) come to a major life-simplifying decision. I’m taking the easy road out of this quagmire. I’m no longer going to use such ridiculous terms like fake chicken, or pretend pork, or “real” food. From now on, chicken textured and flavored wheat glutton is simply going to be “vegan chicken”.  Same goes for the beef, turkey, and pork substitutes. (and no smart-ass, I’m not going to call them chicken too)

Like Andrea said earlier today, “We didn’t go vegan because we stopped liking the tastes of meat dishes.” And we don’t need to feel ashamed for wanting to recreate those flavors and textures in an animal-friendly way. For those of you who read my earlier post talking about giving up all the substitute meat products…. what can I say. Well for starters, it’s damned hard to go out to eat and get a decent animal-free meal that doesn’t contain a meat alternative. I took the boys to The Yardhouse the other night and ordered the gardein “chicken” rice bowl. I tried ordering just the “gardein rice bowl”, but the server looked confused and made me say the “c” word.

But things are going to be different (and easier) from this point on. I’ve come to a fork in the vegan road and have chosen my course. If you can think of a better way to communicate effectively about the pretend/fake/un-meat products we eat, please let me know. Maybe we could all just do the double bunny fingers in the air quotes gesture, but god I hate those people

I really didn’t want to get stuck in a religious rut, but a reader’s comment on yesterday’s post got me a little fired up. He believes that the How To Think and Behave Like a Good Little Catholic Manual otherwise know as the Catechism makes an irresistible case for veganism. For some reason (pride, arrogance, laziness,…) I feel the need to repost my response in hopes that we can all move on from the constraints of religion to further the cause of veganism:

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I must confess, I just don’t see your vegan evangelism point here. Are we reading the same Catechism? I dusted off my old copy and checked online with the Vatican just to be sure things hadn’t changed since I left the mother church. Here’s what I took away from the reading: ***(see full Catechism text at the bottom)

1) Animals are commodities put here by god for the benefit of people.
2) It’s bad to waste god’s stuff so only take what you need from them.
3) Animals belong to god and we must be kind to them until we decide it suits our purposes to kill them for food, clothing, household decor, glue…
4) It’s okay to enslave animals to do our work and keep us company before we kill them.
5) It’s not okay to cause animals to suffer or die “needlessly”, but a torturous life and death in the name of scientific and medical experimentation is cool with god.
6) We shouldn’t give animals the same love and affection we show our own kind. They don’t rate it.

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***Respect for the integrity of creation

2415 The seventh commandment enjoins respect for the integrity of creation. Animals, like plants and inanimate beings, are by nature destined for the common good of past, present, and future humanity.195 Use of the mineral, vegetable, and animal resources of the universe cannot be divorced from respect for moral imperatives. Man’s dominion over inanimate and other living beings granted by the Creator is not absolute; it is limited by concern for the quality of life of his neighbor, including generations to come; it requires a religious respect for the integrity of creation.196

2416 Animals are God’s creatures. He surrounds them with his providential care. By their mere existence they bless him and give him glory.197 Thus men owe them kindness. We should recall the gentleness with which saints like St. Francis of Assisi or St. Philip Neri treated animals.

2417 God entrusted animals to the stewardship of those whom he created in his own image.198 Hence it is legitimate to use animals for food and clothing. They may be domesticated to help man in his work and leisure. Medical and scientific experimentation on animals is a morally acceptable practice if it remains within reasonable limits and contributes to caring for or saving human lives.

2418 It is contrary to human dignity to cause animals to suffer or die needlessly. It is likewise unworthy to spend money on them that should as a priority go to the relief of human misery. One can love animals; one should not direct to them the affection due only to persons.

Is veganism a religion? Depends how you define religion I guess. Here’s one broad attempt:

re·li·gion     

1. a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

The practical objection to animal food in my case was its uncleanness; and besides, when I had caught and cleaned and cooked and eaten my fish, they seemed not to have fed me essentially. It was insignificant and unnecessary, and cost more than it came to. A little bread or a few potatoes would have done as well, with less trouble and filth. -Henry David Thoreau

Yesterday’s post got me thinking about our more primitive days living on our mini ranch in Indiana. At the peak, we had three horses, three dairy goats, about fifty chickens, five cats, and two dogs. We were in our “happy meat” stage of life and were determined to produce our own milk, eggs, and provide for some of our meat. We mail-ordered some  frankenchickens for this purpose.

As chicks, they looked normal and cute enough, but in weeks they turned into big breasted and crippled monsters. These birds were designed to get big fast in the confines of the factory farm cages. It was heart-breaking to watch them scoot around the yard, unable to support their weight. So, being the well-intentioned hick I was at the time, I grabbed my axe and started the bloody business of killing and skinning a couple dozen birds.

The smell is still fresh in my mind and makes me want to puke. I don’t know how I did it. Well yes I do. I was so convinced that what I was doing was the “right” way to provide meat for my family, that I swallowed my gut instincts and preformed acts of violence contrary to my nature. I told myself, We gave these birds a good life and it’s better for them if I do it instead of sending them off to a stranger to be butchered.

When it came time to eat our former pets, I had to force down the bile. I had to convince myself that this was meat like all the other meat we ate on a regular basis. No, this was even better… no hormones and antibiotics, no factory filth and disease… But, I could never stomach the thought of raising our own animals for meat again. Oh, we still consumed more that our fair share, but the blood was on someone else’s hands.

Andrea and I were talking recently about a huge practical benefit of the vegan diet. All the animal filth is gone from our kitchen. She’s the kind of person that can “see” and “feel” germs, and meat always freaked her out. She was telling me about one of those TV cooks who advised not even wasting your time trying to wash your meat because you only risk cross-contamination by doing so. The best policy is to get the hazardous waste straight into the oven before it infects your whole house! Then yesterday we heard yet another story of a massive salmonella outbreak. Despite what the ancient Hebrew’s had to say on the matter, there’s just no such thing as “clean” meat!

The focus of being vegan is usually on the animals being spared misery, pain, and death. But let’s not forget the human animal in all of this. A clean, animal free diet (and house) is such a huge mental, physical, and spiritual fringe benefit for us! Truly a win-win.

It’s been a long week and I came home and passed out for a couple of hours. I dreamed of fishing with my grandfather. Yeah I know, strange topic for a vegan blog, but stay with me.

This is one of my favorite memories of him. We’re out in the middle of the pond just the two of us in this little row-boat. Our lines get tangled and I stand up to remedy the situation. The boat starts rocking and my grandpa goes overboard head first! He surfaced laughing and feeling for the expensive pair of glasses he’d just gotten the week prior. He dives for them for a while, but they were forever lost ten feet down in the mud. We call it quits and have a few more good laughs over dinner recounting the story to my mom and grandma. He wore his old cracked pair for at least a few months after that and never once made me feel bad for tossing him over.

Where am I going with all this… not sure really. I guess I’m feeling like I need a little redemption after being so damned negative all week. In a previous post, I painted my grandfather in a bad light and threw him in with the rest of the savage animal killing hoard. In truth, he was a kind and loving man who had a deep love and respect for nature. He just never saw the need to stop hunting and fishing. Okay, I hear what your thinking… those other unenlightened souls out there killing and eating animals deserve the same respect  and compassion as fellow human beings. Ouch… let’s get back on topic shall we.

My second grandfather in spirit is a man I’ve never met but feel I’ve known all my life- Henry David Thoreau. He planted the seeds of vegan rebellion in me many years ago that are just now coming to fruition. He was an avid fisherman who lost a taste for it later in life. He  wrote: (I know it’s a big paragraph for Friday, but it’s worth the read)

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I have found repeatedly, of late years, that I cannot fish without falling a little in self-respect. I have tried it again and again. I have skill at it, and, like many of my fellows, a certain instinct for it, which revives from time to time, but always when I have done I feel that it would have been better if I had not fished. I think that I do not mistake. It is a faint intimation, yet so are the first streaks of morning. There is unquestionably this instinct in me which belongs to the lower orders of creation; yet with every year I am less a fisherman, though without more humanity or even wisdom; at present I am no fisherman at all. But I see that if I were to live in a wilderness I should again be tempted to become a fisher and hunter in earnest. Beside, there is something essentially unclean about this diet and all flesh, and I began to see where housework commences, and whence the endeavor, which costs so much, to wear a tidy and respectable appearance each day, to keep the house sweet and free from all ill odors and sights. Having been my own butcher and scullion and cook, as well as the gentleman for whom the dishes were served up, I can speak from an unusually complete experience. The practical objection to animal food in my case was its uncleanness; and besides, when I had caught and cleaned and cooked and eaten my fish, they seemed not to have fed me essentially. It was insignificant and unnecessary, and cost more than it came to. A little bread or a few potatoes would have done as well, with less trouble and filth. Like many of my contemporaries, I had rarely for many years used animal food, or tea, or coffee, etc.; not so much because of any ill effects which I had traced to them, as because they were not agreeable to my imagination. The repugnance to animal food is not the effect of experience, but is an instinct. It appeared more beautiful to live low and fare hard in many respects; and though I never did so, I went far enough to please my imagination. I believe that every man who has ever been earnest to preserve his higher or poetic faculties in the best condition has been particularly inclined to abstain from animal food, and from much food of any kind. It is a significant fact, stated by entomologists—I find it in Kirby and Spence —that “some insects in their perfect state, though furnished with organs of feeding, make no use of them”; and they lay it down as “a general rule, that almost all insects in this state eat much less than in that of larvae. The voracious caterpillar when transformed into a butterfly … and the gluttonous maggot when become a fly” content themselves with a drop or two of honey or some other sweet liquid. The abdomen under the wings of the butterfly still represents the larva. This is the tidbit which tempts his insectivorous fate. The gross feeder is a man in the larva state; and there are whole nations in that condition, nations without fancy or imagination, whose vast abdomens betray them.

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There is so much here I’d like to explore (maybe later) but now it’s time to hit the hot tub, drink some vegan beer, and dream of a better world. Have a great weekend everyone.